Mum guilt, physical & emotional depletion and how to combat it
The transition to motherhood is a potentially vulnerable time for a women's mental health & 20% of women experience depression and/or anxiety at this time. Countless more experience stress, low self-esteem and a major loss of confidence and identity.
It is so common for new mothers to experience low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy but few talk about it and coupled with severe exhaustion that silence just compounds those feelings of alienation and dare I say loneliness.
It is so absurd in many ways that you feel so lonely at a time in your life when you cannot do anything alone anymore (not even go to the loo!). But as so many more people now know, thanks to Covid, no matter how big your house those walls can close in on you.
It's time for change. It's time to take a stand. It's time to talk openly to each other, hold each other up, praise each other and share what has helped in our daily battle to combat mum guilt, physical & emotional depletion.
Every day, mothers everywhere are burdened with unwarranted guilt. Most of the guilt they feel comes from their families, friends, and society, but the worst comes from themselves.
Humans are group animals. Social interaction is essential for self-identity.
In order words, we yearn for social approval.
Who “I am” is constantly defined and redefined by comparisons with others.
Scientists have found that self-esteem comes from two sources – a sense of social worth and a sense of personal efficacy.
But please do me a favour and stop looking at social media as your benchmark. That world is highly stylised and fake, it does not show you real life "warts and all"
My advice? Get out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there in REAL life in every group imaginable until you find Your Tribe. Your Kula. Your village.
Come join a group of like-minded people in the same boat as you and openly talk about your struggles and success and find a safe space that holds you together and mothers the mother.
This is what I try to put into my weekly woman's yoga as well as my prenatal and postnatal spaces.🙏
The mats are in a circle to create bonding. Circles are whole, balanced and never-ending. Everyone is equal inside the circle.
We hold each other and are joined by our experiences.
We protect each other within the circle - there are no gaps. It feels like a hug or a hand-holding.
A safe space to connect, heal and learn from each other. Where we respect each other for our uniqueness and never judge.
Our breath is circular as is the opening of the cervix. In yoga, our movement flows like circles. We circle our children in our arms. Circles feel safe.
The classes empower you to be who you are and to explore your emotions around pregnancy, birth and motherhood together with others in the same boat.
They are that safe space that helps you grow in confidence and where we learn to mother together, in participation, not with perfection. Spaces where you can speak from the heart and let go of all worries and anxieties.
Try it today, book your spot here
Note: If you think you may be experiencing postnatal depression and you are thinking about harming either yourself or your baby, put your baby down in their crib immediately and call a family member, friend, or one of the following helplines:
Association for Post Natal Illness (APNI) – helpline on 020 7386 0868 (10am to 2pm, Monday to Friday) or email email@example.com
Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support (PANDAS) – helpline on 0808 196 1776 (11am to 10pm every day) or email firstname.lastname@example.org
NCT – helpline on 0300 330 0700 (9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday)
Mind, the mental health charity – infoline on 0300 123 3393 (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday) or email email@example.com